Lost and Forgotten
by Settiai
Summary: How does one define a memory? :: Suzie/Toshiko


When Suzie opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was Toshiko staring at her with an expression on her face that looked like it fell halfway between embarrassed and terrified. "Morning, Tosh," she said with a yawn.

"Good morning," Toshiko replied softly. She ducked her head, not quite meeting Suzie's gaze.

Suzie smiled, amused at the other woman's behavior. "Is something wrong?" she asked, reaching out to cup Toshiko's face with her hands. She leaned in and gave her a quick kiss, barely holding back a laugh when Toshiko meeped in surprise.

Toshiko managed a weak smile, her face slightly red. "What about Owen?"

"What about him?" Suzie asked, raising an eyebrow. Then she took a closer look at Toshiko's face and shook her head gently. "I thought you had moved past that crush on him."

"I have!" Toshiko protested quickly.

Suzie raised an eyebrow in reply.

After a few seconds, Toshiko's face fell. "Maybe I'm not completely over him," she admittedly, rolling over so that she was staring up at the ceiling, "but that's not what I meant, and you know it"

"For the last time," Suzie said, sighing, "it's just sex. Owen and I have both been with other people. Obviously."

Toshiko let out an unladylike snort, but she didn't say anything.

Shaking her head, Suzie sat up. Then she straddled the other woman before Toshiko had a chance to react. "You have to admit," she murmured, leaning down so that her mouth was beside Toshiko's ear, "I kept my promise."

Toshiko smiled wryly up at her. "I will give you that much," she admitted. "I don't regret not spending the night alone in my flat like I'd planned."

"You didn't do too bad yourself," Suzie said teasingly, nipping at Toshiko's ear. "All things considering."

"Considering it was my first time with a woman, you mean?" Toshiko asked lightly.

Suzie laughed. "If you hadn't told me, I never would have guessed."

Toshiko paused for a moment. "It was odd," she said slowly. "It was like my body knew what to do. Like it wasn't the first time."

Despite her best intentions, Suzie stiffened slightly.

"Still, it was nice," Toshiko continued, apparently oblivious to Suzie's reaction. She gave Suzie a hesitant smile. "I could get used to it."

Suzie managed a weak smile of her own. "That makes two of us," she said softly. "But first, some of us didn't get clawed by a Weevil yesterday and actually have to show up for work at some point today."

Toshiko groaned. "Can't you call in?"

"I'm afraid not," Suzie said, teasing tweaking Toshiko's nose. She doubted her smile reached her eyes, but Toshiko didn't seem to notice. "Cardiff is the garbage bin of the universe, remember?"

"I know," Toshiko said, closing her eyes tiredly.

Laughing softly, Suzie rolled out of bed. "Want me to make you some coffee?"

Toshiko murmured her thanks.

Suzie let her smile fade as she headed toward the kitchen. She couldn't keep this much longer. With Owen, it was just sex . . . nothing more and nothing less. Neither of them had any expectations. But with Toshiko, there was the possibility of things becoming much more complicated very quickly. And Suzie couldn't afford for that to happen.

She glanced at the clock as she started the coffee. There was just enough time for her to drop Toshiko back at her flat and still make it to the Hub on time without anyone being suspicious. Letting out a tired sigh, she reached up and opened the cupboard door. A small bottle sat on the top shelf, completely innocuous unless a person knew what it was.

With the careful precision that come from experience, Suzie put several drops of retcon into one of the cups that she'd pulled out. Then she hesitated. One more drop would mean that Toshiko wouldn't remember anything from the night before. It would be like it had never happened. But if she stopped there, then Toshiko wouldn't forget everything. She'd think it was a dream, a fantasy created by her mind, but she'd remember.

"Maybe next time," Suzie murmured.

Without giving herself time to hesitate, she put in one more drop.


End file.
